For Pastors

---

Dear pastor,

Please know that I’m aware of some of the challenges of your job. You are asked to perform many functions, and expected to do them all well. Sometimes people forget that you’re human, and that you have burdens and weaknesses of your own. You must work around limitations of time and resources, just like everyone else. I know all this, and my heart goes out to you. I honor and respect good pastors, and I lift you in prayer. And I am asking you to add another layer of responsibility to those you already bear.

That’s one way to look at it. Another way is to say I am offering you a no-cost way to minister more deeply to your congregation. Here is a chance for you to do even more of what you came into this job to do: to help people know God more fully, walk in freedom, joyfully grow to be what they were created to be. According to the best estimates, at least 25% of adult Americans remember being sexually abused as children. Yes, 25% of your congregation. 

Abuse leaves wounds which don’t just disappear. If this trauma is ignored and untreated, its residual effects linger, often multiplying and affecting a survivor’s family. It’s probable that someone you know and love, male or female, is silently carrying that weighty burden. There is comfort that the church can offer; there is hope, faith in God’s creative power, and confidence in the Lord’s unchanging love. You can help without waiting for people to come to you.

Your job is not to offer psychological counseling; you don’t have to hire a fulltime therapist; you don’t even need to preach a whole sermon on the subject. Just start by praying about this need in your congregation. Then begin mentioning trauma from the pulpit—just a little, tucked into a broader sermon. For instance, you can say you know this pain exists. You can proclaim that God sees and loves all who suffer. You can insist that it is wrong to abuse children and that it is never a child’s fault. That’s enough for a start. And then let the Holy Spirit lead you from there.

Please contact me if you have questions, or if you’d like to discuss this. I pledge to you that a) I will maintain complete confidentiality, and b) I will never charge you or your church for any services I provide. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, as is my beloved offspring; I want to do whatever I can to help.

In service,

       Mary Brown